It's hard out there for an overconsumer.

You know, I like the sausage on a stick surrounded by pancake. But it's kind of a drag when you get halfway through and have to eat around the stick. Can someone do something about that?

Oh, thanks.

Cable TV, you foul temptress!

So I'm watching Bridezillas (don't judge me).

She's from San Francisco, he's from back woods Mississippi. They're the original odd couple!

Hubby to be seems pretty laconic until the couple is discussing their wedding wish list and he drops the most epically awesome line in TV history:

"I can't wear camouflage and I wanted a monkey. That's the only thing I wanted and she wouldn't let me have it"

Sir, I tip my hat to you.

Most Rocking Coat Of Arms

The only thing the coat of arms of Nunavut is missing is a tiger playing an electric guitar.

Overheard on the bus today:

Driver: Man, ain't nothin' gettin' better, I don't care what it is.

Passenger: I heard that. The rich keep gettin' richer and the poor keep gettin' poorer.

Driver: Hey, at least you can get a gun now!

Passenger: There is that.

Youtubes obscured by ads

Looking for Clash videos, I kept getting assaulted by ads for a video game that advertises "The most guns!"